I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
