i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
