you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
this will be a night to untag.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
