I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
