There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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