I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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