Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
