This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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