fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her vagine was all disorganized.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
