You smell like stripper and shame
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
