I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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