Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
