so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
