I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
