I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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