And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
