He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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