in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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