Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
