nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
