i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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