whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
