Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
