I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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