Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i dont even know how to be here
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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