I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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