Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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