If that was your dad, he is hot
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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