before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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