why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
