I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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