i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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