There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
