i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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