Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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