Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
