dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
