my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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