He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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