he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize