Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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