There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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