Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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