This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
