DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
