I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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