Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
