my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
