So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
