I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
