Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
