It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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