This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
