Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
