is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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