Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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