some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
