omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
