her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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